Everyone knows the Maldives as that impossibly gorgeous place where overwater bungalows and crystal-clear lagoons make your Instagram followers weep with jealousy. But did you know this tropical paradise is also hilariously weird? Buckle up for some facts that’ll make you say “wait, WHAT?”
The Maldives is the flattest country in the world
The highest natural point? A mind-blowing 2.4 meters (7 feet 10 inches) above sea level. That’s basically the height of your neighbor’s backyard trampoline. Probably, even your last situationship had more ups and downs than the entire Maldivian landscape.
So yeah, no one’s hiking here. EVER.
Oh and rising sea levels could drown the whole thing by 2100. So if you want to sip coconut water on land instead of underwater, book that trip NOW. Time’s literally running out! (no pressure though)
Government is fighting!
The good news is, the Maldives is fighting back. They’re not just sitting back and waiting to be swallowed by the ocean like some kind of doomed Atlantis. In fact, in 2009, the Maldivian government held an underwater meeting to highlight climate change. The entire cabinet, including President Mohamed Nasheed, strapped on scuba gear and dove 20 feet underwater to hold an official government session on the ocean floor.
It was probably the only time bureaucratic paperwork has ever looked this cool.
Only 1% of this entire country is actual land.
The rest? Ocean. Glorious, baby-blue, vacation-filtered ocean. It’s like Mother Nature said, “Let’s make a country, but forget to add ground.”
And yes, it’s a nightmare for people afraid of boats, but amazing for avoiding traffic, stress and zoom meetings.
An Island for Every Occasion
Out of the nearly 1,200 islands, only about 200 are inhabited and over 160 are luxury resort islands. Most of those islands in Maldives follow one hotel- one island policy so there is just one hotel on each island.
Some islands in the Maldives are so tiny and flat that strong tides can erase them overnight …and sometimes they reappear later. It’s like playing hide-and-seek with geography itself.
It’s basically the geographical equivalent of your motivation on a Monday morning. Present one minute, completely disappeared the next, might show up later if you’re lucky.
Local Islands = Budget Travel Without the Emotional Damage
For decades, Maldivian tourism was largely restricted to resort islands a.k.a. private club for the rich and famous.(no broke people allowed). We’re talking iconic overwater bungalows, personal butlers who folded your underwear and $1000+ per night price tags that made it the holy grail for honeymooners with trust funds and celebrities who needed to hide from paparazzi.
Only since 2009 government regulations finally allowed local islands to offer tourist facilities, like guesthouses, restaurants and other amenities, opening up the possibility for visitors to experience a more authentic ( and much, much, MUCH cheeper) side of the Maldives.
You can eat street snacks, explore coral reefs and still be far from the resort chaos filled with children named Aiden screaming for nuggets.
It’s budget-friendly, culture-rich and usually nap-compatible.
The only downside? No alcohol. But we’ll get to that nightmare in a minute.
Dogs are banned in the Maldives due to religious customs
But cats? Cats run this place like it’s their private kingdom. They sunbathe, people-watch and look at you like you don’t belong. It’s giving furry Regina George.
No Alcohol allowed (Unless You’re Rich Enough)
Alcohol is banned on local islands. Like, zero drops of fun juice.
- Want a beer after a long day of snorkeling? LMAO, no.
- A glass of wine with dinner? In your dreams, buddy.
- A cheeky mimosa at breakfast? Absolutely the hell not.
You’ll see restaurants with big flashy banners advertising “MOJITO!” and “COCKTAILS!” and your dehydrated, sun-baked brain will scream YES FINALLY. But then you ask the waiter and they hit you with: “Oh yes, we have mojito! Virgin mojito. Mocktail.”
*Soul leaves the body*
It’s psychological warfare. It’s false advertising. It’s a betrayal of the highest order. They KNOW what they’re doing. They’re dangling the dream in front of you and then snatching it away like some kind of tropical prank show.
The ‘no alcohol’ rule doesn’t apply to the resort islands. They pour!
It’s also illegal to bring any alcohol into the country, even if it’s for personal consumption. This includes alcohol purchased at duty-free shops in airports.
Malé: The Capital in just One Square Mile
The capital city, Malé, is one of the smallest and most densely populated capitals in the world, crammed into an area of just over one square mile. (We’re talking SimCity on nightmare difficulty here.)
For comparison, that’s smaller than Central Park in New York. Except instead of trees and joggers, it’s packed with over 133,000 people, buildings, shops, mosques and probably several very stressed-out urban planners.
This place is so ridiculously tiny, it looks like someone built a city in the middle of their swimming pool. The buildings are stacked so close together you can probably shake hands with your neighbor through the window.
Airport Island (No Jokes!)
Maldives International Airport (Velana) is not attached to the capital. It’s a whole separate island! As in, there’s literally ocean between you and civilization.😃 Land at this airport and good luck calling an Uber. Your only options are boat or seaplane.
On the bright side, it makes every arrival feel ridiculously extra. Other airports give you baggage claim – Maldives gives you James Bond energy.
Fish Currency, Anyone?
Back in the day, dried tuna was actual currency here. Yes, DRIED TUNA. (Imagine your salary being paid in seafood.)
Currently, The currency in the Maldives is the Rufiyaa.(much less smelly, way more convenient) The Rufiyaa is a closed currency, meaning that you cannot obtain Rufiyaa when you are outside of the Maldives. You’ll have to wait until you arrive to get hold of some.
Also, if you have any Rufiyaa left at the end of your trip you won’t be able to change it when you get home. So unless your fridge needs more decorative foreign bills, spend it. All of it. Buy the beach sarong. Get the coconut. Regret nothing.
However in most places in Maldives, you’ll be able to pay using US dollars. (most of the time it’s even preferable)
The Weekend is Friday-Saturday
The Maldives is an Islamic country, which means the weekend falls on Friday and Saturday.
Sunday? That’s a regular work day, baby. Your entire concept of weekends is a LIE here.
So if you rock up to a local island on Friday expecting shopping and avocado toast, prepare for disappointment of cosmic proportions. Shops closed. Restaurants also mostly closed.
At resorts, you won’t even notice because days blur together when you’re permanently tipsy and tan. In here time is a social construct invented by people with jobs. You’re on island time now, and island time operates on vibes, not calendars.
The Biggest Shark Lives Here
The Maldives is known for its variety of marine life, but the king of the waves here is the whale shark. The largest fish in the ocean, whale sharks can grow up to 20ft long and weight several tons. However, you don’t need to fear a ‘Jaws’ type scenario as they live off a diet of plankton and tiny fish. They’re basically massive, majestic sea puppies who wouldn’t hurt a fly.
Underwater Bedrooms Are a Thing
At ultra-luxury resorts like The Muraka, you can book an underwater bedroom. Not “underwater themed.” Not “has an aquarium wall.”
Literally. Underwater. Surrounded by glass. With actual fish swimming around you while you sleep.
Romantic? Maybe.
Creepy? A little bit.
Expensive? Oh, you better BELIEVE it. We’re talking $10,000 per night sort of prices.
The Entire Economy Depends on You Thinking It’s Pretty
No pressure, but the Maldivian economy is basically banking on you thinking their country is cute. Tourism accounts for about 28% of their GDP.
Their entire economic model is essentially: “Look how pretty we are! Please come spend money! We’re sinking!”
And you know what? It works. Because it IS gorgeous. Stupidly, unfairly, almost offensively gorgeous. The kind of beautiful that makes you angry because how dare nature be this stunning while you’re out here looking like a goblin most days.
So yeah, go visit. Spend your money. Support their economy. Take 47,000 photos. Make your friends jealous. Live your best life while you still can…because remember, this whole place might be underwater in 75 years.
